am i strange?
I asked someone this last year. I was balling my eyes out. I was feeling so insecure and gross. All of the pent up social dread that I'd accumulated since age 10 had bubbled to the surface and it felt as if my worst fears had been realized.
I was embarrassed because I knew my skin was ruddy and my eyes were swollen from crying. Somehow though, I had the audacity to ask this person if I was a weirdo. He looked at me incredulously and wholeheartedly said "absolutely, yes." He followed with "but nothing about you is unlovable."
He said yes in a way to make it clear that the fact that I'm a weirdo is one of the best things about me. I am interesting. I am uncommon. I am capable of changing the world. Sure I can be pretty fucking awkward around people who make me feel uncomfortable but my weirdness is a net positive.
When he said yes, I knew what he meant and I laughed through tears. I laughed from relief and vindication. I laughed out of joy and freedom.
It's ok that you're not Joe Smooth. It's honestly probably a good thing. Joe Smooth is usually a salesman that kinda creeps people out when they're left in his wake.
Yea, you're strange. Maybe your middle school peers just missed it, man. Maybe you were just ahead of your fucking time.